Shhhh, don’t say the C word! Some think that the word Christmas shouldn’t be uttered until 1 December and shudder at the sight of Christmas decorations in the shops as soon as the kids have returned to school in September. Whilst others embrace the season and can’t wait to hear Mariah on the radio.
But one thing all family law practitioners will agree on is that it is never too early for separated families to agree their Christmas arrangements when it comes to their children.
The courts are extremely busy with applications concerning children, and it may surprise some to learn that a parent’s contact with their children at Christmas is not considered a priority of the courts. As such, these applications will not be treated as urgent and will follow the usual procedure for any child arrangements order application.
In most cases it can take 6-8 weeks for the first hearing “First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment” (FHDRA) to be listed, this follows a paper-based gatekeeping exercise carried out by the court with the assistance of Cafcass prior to the hearing. If parties are unable to agree, it could, on average, take around 6 months for the case to conclude at a final hearing. This could be even longer depending on the complexity of the matters in dispute.
Making child contact arrangements without going to court
Here are some top tips to help you try and resolve contact arrangements over the Christmas period without the need to resort to the courts:
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Discuss with your ex-partner your proposed arrangements
Start the discussion early. Your ex may not have thought about their own plans, but raising the issue in good time helps focus the mind and ensures that these discussions don’t take place at the last minute when arrangements may have already been made. Be respectful and sensitive to the other person’s thoughts and feelings and try not to raise other issues which are irrelevant to the point in discussion. This is likely to create tension and result in an unnecessary argument and at worse prevent you from being able to reach any agreement.
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Consider your children’s wishes and feelings
Whilst, as a parent you want to spend time with your children on Christmas Day, your children’s wishes and feelings should also be considered (if they are old enough to express them), and the impact any arrangements will have on them. If there is a significant distance between where the parents live, your children may not want to spend a large part of the day traveling. Likewise, they may not want to get up first thing in the morning or have to travel late at night.
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How will the arrangements work on a practical level
If the day is to be shared, think about the practicalities of how this will work. It is quite common that Christmas is separated from Christmas Eve to Christmas Day (before or after) dinner, and from Christmas Day (before or after dinner) until Boxing Day. This could alternate each year. This isn’t a hard and fast rule as it is about what works for your family. But this can be a natural point in the day for a handover. You should also consider who will be responsible for collecting and dropping off the children and how that ties in with other commitments on the day.
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Mediation
If you are unable to agree arrangements with your ex-partner directly, try attending mediation. This can be a quicker and much cheaper alternative to making an application to the court. The very nature of mediation can help you put your children’s needs first and prioritise their wellbeing.
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Seek legal advice
If discussions and mediation fail, speak with a solicitor who may be able to offer further advice before you make an application to the court. It may not be possible to prevent an application, but all avenues should be considered first. If this is the last resort remember you may not obtain the order you seek if it is not in the best interests of the children, or the court simply does not have the capacity to deal with your application before Christmas.
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Finally
Christmas Day is a special day for many people, particularly those who are religious, but it is quite possible to enjoy time with your children, incorporating the festivities and traditions such as presents and a family meal on another day. It doesn’t necessarily have to be 25th December!
If you are struggling to make arrangements to spend time with your children over the Christmas period, speak with one of our family law team who can provide you with expert advice. Call 0113 284 5000 or email: mail@isonharrison.co.uk.
