A victim of emotional abuse can be any age and any gender, and the effects of it can be very damaging and long-lasting. Emotional abuse is common in family scenarios and can be triggered by issues such as relationship breakdowns, financial hardship, mental health problems and substance abuse problems. And in such cases, children or partners are often the victim, and the perpetrator can be a partner, a parent or a sibling.
Unfortunately, the characteristics of a person being emotionally abused can sometimes be mistaken for relatively normal behaviour, particularly if the victim is a teenager. Young people face many challenging situations when they are on the verge of adulthood, and the transition can manifest itself in behaviours which could potentially mask a more serious problem. Equally, if you are the victim of emotional abuse yourself, it can be hard to understand and to accept, mainly because the abuse is often coming from somebody you know, trust and are dependent on.
Here we will look at identifying emotional abuse from two viewpoints; identifying if it is happening to you, and identifying if it is happening to someone you know.
How to identify if you are the victim of emotional abuse
Emotional abuse is a complex form of domestic abuse, and there is often a fine line between what is acceptable and what becomes unacceptable. But common indicators of emotional abuse include:
- Someone is verbally and publicly humiliating you
- Someone is very demanding of your attention
- Someone controls who you see and when you see them
- Someone blames you for everything, and repeatedly
- Someone restricts your access to money
- Someone is very jealous and possessive of you
- Someone is gaslighting you
- Someone is giving you the silent treatment and deliberately isolating you
- Someone is verbally threatening harm to you
If you are suffering from any of these things, you need to speak to someone you trust and discuss these behaviours. Building a support network and confiding in them can help you identify what is or isn’t acceptable.
How to identify if someone you know is the victim of emotional abuse
On the flipside, you may have concerns about someone you know and feel a responsibility to monitor their behaviour for signs of emotional abuse. It is often the case that a friend or family member is aware of a developing situation, which could be a trigger for emotional abuse, or you may have identified a change in a person’s behaviour or their normal characteristics. This could be an indicator that they are a victim of emotional abuse.
- They lack confidence and self-esteem
- They can’t control their emotions
- They are prone to aggressive outbursts
- They are solitary and are struggling to build or maintain relationships
- They exhibit infantile behaviour
- They are running away from their problems
- They are anxious and withdrawn
- There is evidence of self-harm
- In extreme cases, there may be a suicide attempt
As mentioned above, some of these are relatively normal character traits for a teenager or young adult, but the important thing is to identify something that is different, and behaviours which have changed and are not normal for that individual person. These could be an indication that something has happened and a pattern of emotional abuse has developed.
What to do if you identify signs of emotional abuse
If you think you are the victim of emotional abuse or you have seen the signs in someone you know, it is important to remember the victim is not to blame. You need to try and stabilise their emotions and work out a structure to support the victim. Domestic situations can be very complex and there may be no immediate solution, but a victim of emotional abuse needs to prioritise their needs and work out if this requires them to leave, and to walk away from the abusive situation.
At Ison Harrison we have a strong support network of experienced family law solicitors, who can provide trusted support for victims of emotional abuse. We can provide legal advice and information and have resources we can connect with to help you find the best solutions to your specific situation. So for sympathetic and confidential advice and support for emotional abuse, contact our team at Ison Harrison today.
